Stoma Pants and Wraps

Today, at long last, my prescription underwear arrived. I think it says something about my life at the moment that I got really excited – I know, I know, I should get out more…

They are made by SupportX and I got them on prescription, free of charge. I ordered two of each to start with. Your yearly allowance is six pairs of pants and three wraps, but I’ve got enough to be going on with for now, because the pants will not be worn against my skin but over my normal pants, so I can have “one on, one in the wash,” as they say.

I have to tell you, these are NOT the most glamorous underwear you’ve ever seen by a long shot. The pants are enormous! I couldn’t stop laughing, especially when my hubby said they were sweet! lol lol!!

Are you ready for this?

The pants are deliberately made really high waisted so that the top doesn’t interfere with the stoma, and everything is adequately covered up.

Turned inside out, there is a separate pouch affair that runs across the front, attached at the sides, and you wear this closest to yourself, and slip the bag into the pouch, so that it is sandwiched between the pouch and the outer layer of the pants, keeping it away from your skin. It supports it and stops that dragging feeling when the bag is filling, and distributes the contents a bit so that bulges are less likely to show on the outside.

You an see that there are two holes at the bottom. These are for drainable ostomy bags so that you can, in theory, empty the bag without removing the pants. However, I am not doing this because I am afraid of making a mess!

I got the wraps to wear at night. They are similar to the pants, but more stretchy and tight. Again, they support the bag and keep it flat against you. I find that in bed, the bag does tend to flop about a bit and it sometimes wakes me up, and with the wrap, this should no longer happen.

Inside out, the wraps also have an inner layer so that the bag is sandwiched between two layers of fabric and held away from your skin. The hole is there to push the bag through – it doesn’t look very big but the opening is very stretchy, and there’s no problem getting the bag through it.

What did I tell you? Not the sort of thing you see in Vogue lol! I think I am getting old… Before I went into hospital I got some new bras and was horrified that they had THREE hooks at the back – I told my hubby they reminded me of the “ladies’ foundation garments” that my mum used to wear in the 1950s and he said that sounded like concrete blocks! He wasn’t far wrong.

I think it’s rather funny that I have multi-coloured hair and wear quite funky clothes, and nobody (except you lot of course) will know what horrors lie beneath!

Hope this has given you a good laugh. It has me. But at least I know that my “medical appliance” (doesn’t THAT sound awful – but it seems to go with the pants lol!) will be held secure and will be more comfortable, and it should help with the prevention of leaks, too.

Oh, the joys of being a Gutless Bag Lady… Whoever would have thought Shoshi would come to THIS…

Naughty Kermit

Last week Kermit (my stoma) decided he was fed up with his goodie-two-shoes image that I’ve been putting about, saying what a good little stoma he was, and how well behaved he was. While I was still in bed I realised that a leak was imminent – I could see it creeping under the banana flange – these are flange extenders that give you a bit more security as they increase the area of protection around the bag, and can give you a bit more time to deal with a leak.

I got up to deal with it immediately, and as I started moving, the other side of the bag (with no banana flange) failed and started to leak – I staunched the flow with loo paper while I emptied the bag and prepared to change it for a new one.

The reason I’ve been having leaks (and much less since using convex bags) is that my body is continuing to change shape, and I’ve developed a crease on the right hand side of the stoma as I look down, and this is the danger area, so I always use banana flanges on that side. I am looking forward to the new Coloplast SenSura Mio convex bags to come out – the Mio bags have a very soft flange that moulds itself well to your body, and I think this will help me a lot in leak prevention.

Next time I order from my supplier I am also going to order some of their Silex silicone flange extenders which are extremely thin and flexible and the best banana flanges I have sampled so far.

I much prefer to choose my bag changing times when Kermit is not active – doing it to deal with an emergency usually means I have to deal with a leaky stoma while trying to clean up and get the new bag on.

When I took the bag off, Kermit did behave himself very well and I thought I was going to get away with it, but suddenly he erupted like Mt. Vesuvius and sprayed brown liquid down my leg and onto my slipper, onto the storage tower where I keep all his equipment, and down the bathroom wall! This is what is known on the Inspire forum as a “Code Brown”! This is the first time it has happened to me, and I am just glad that it happened at home, in my own bathroom, and not while I was out and about! I have read horror stories on the forum of people having to deal with major eruptions in the middle of business meetings! I always go out with an emergency bag changing kit, and a change of clothing for my bottom half but so far so good!

The only other problem I have with Kermit is wind – the bag can blow up like an airship at times! These bags have a carbon filter which is supposed to allow gas to escape without odour, but I don’t find they work at all. One bag I tried did seem to release a smell (the bag deodoriser I was using) but the bag still blew up. People on the forum generally say they are not happy with filters and often enquire about bags without filters, which seem to be few and far between.

When ostomates get gas, just like with butt crappers, the gas makes a noise when it escapes! While I can no longer fart like a butt crapper, Kermit does make some very interesting noises at times – nearly always when we have company! He knows. Stomas are like children and animals. They always let you down at the wrong moment! The other day I had a visitor and Kermit made a prolonged, high pitch whistle! At other times he makes little froggy croaky noises (hence his name). When I’m on my own he’s usually as quiet as a mouse.

The joys of life with an ostomy. You have to see the funny side and just deal with it. I always tell people, and make a joke of it if he makes a noise. Everybody who knows me knows what has happened to me this year and it’s no secret, and everyone is very understanding. If I’m in a public place with strangers, I just say, “Don’t mind me – it’s just my stoma making his presence felt!”

Kermit’s One Month Birthday

It is now a month since Kermit was born. Since then his name has been expanded to Kermit E.G. Robinson, because on the Inspire forum I was asked to post a photo of him, and someone said he looked like a Chicago gangster from an old movie! I replied that perhaps they had Edward G. Robinson in mind – he did have rather a squashed froggy face lol!! So, Kermit E.G. Robinson is born.

Unlike other babies, Kermit E.G. Robinson is not growing with time – he is shrinking! To begin with he was a nice perfect circle measuring 40 mm in diameter, but now he has gone rather egg-shaped, and measures between 25 and 30 mm – ish. Hopefully he will settle down to a nice round again, but apparently no stomas are perfect…

My hubby went out shopping this a.m. and came back with this:

I opened it, and out Kermit popped!

Isn’t he making a big splash as he makes his entry into the world? Hopefully he won’t be creating too many (brown) splashes during our lifetime!

I think my hubby is very clever to have found him such an appropriate birthday card.